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Published on February 24, 2007 By Jythier In Gaming
First of all, I'd like to say that the anti-social behavior this article is talking about has nothing to do with violence. Violence and video games is a completely different argument.

Video games allow a person to feel as if they have accomplished something without doing anything. So you beat every Final Fantasy. Nobody really cares, except other people that have played Final Fantasy, and even they don't care that much.

A huge problem is that a lot of women are not gamers. Some are, sure, but a lot aren't. These women tend to have very little respect for in-game accomplishments. That's why a lot of gamer guys want to date a gamer girl - because she is more likely to give him the respect he doesn't deserve. I know it's not a big deal to my wife that I can build a business in Capitalism 2, a theme park in RollerCoaster Tycoon(though I did get her playing that one) or that I can build a city in Sim City 4. Every time I say "Look what I did" she reminds me that I did nothing, which is the truth.

But it does not feel that way when I am doing it. None of it is worth anything in the real world, but it feels like it's so important. So I waste time with them instead of hanging out with my family, doing work, or spending time with God or on ministry.

You may say, "But I play video games and I do all those other things too." I say to you, are you doing those things while playing video games? If so, then there is room for them in your life. Sadly, in my life, my wife is not interested and my son is not old enough. Work has it's 40 hours a week, so that's not an issue. The only thing left is God and ministry. The only way I can do ministry through video games is to play multiplayer games, so all single player games are out. And God wants me out there doing real things for real people. So even multiplayer games are out.

So my video game time really is wasted time. But I'm not going to give them up yet. I'm not ready. I'm still addicted. I want to accomplish fake things, because it's fun. One may say to me, "Entertainment is needed too, so video games are okay in moderation." But really, I could have just as much fun playing with my son, hanging out with my wife, talking to God, or doing ministry. So I'm thoroughly convinced that these games are not needed. But it's just like any other addiction... it'll eat away at me until I give in, or I get over it. I'm still giving in.

Comments (Page 1)
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on Feb 24, 2007

How very relevant this is for my family right now.

I took all video games from my son (11), and he went cold turkey last week.  Why?  Because he was showing signs of addiction.  Even though I kept track of his playing time, the gaming took over his life.  When he wasn't gaming he was trying to find ways to do it, or thinking about when he was going to be able to do it.

I won't go into all the details, but basically if you substituted anything else and how it affected him into the sentence (instead of gaming) he is addicted.

Right now we are working with someone to see if this is something he can do at all, or if, because of his personality, it needs to be banned forever.

My advice.  Don't get your kid started if he/she shows the least bit of addictive personality.  You'll regret it.

on Feb 24, 2007
I know I think about games too much... what am I going to do, what strategy will I use, etc. But I rarely apply this thinking to my normal life. I'm a lot more lazy about my real life.

Also, this article completely leaves out the worst addiction - MMORPGs. Where you can go to have a relationship with someone who's hopefully female who has the game in common with you, and cares about your progress in the game.
on Feb 24, 2007
I think Tova has a point about people with addictive personalities, but generally I disagree with you.

I'm not much of a gamer, but everyone else in my family is. My husband has a stressful job (particularly now, LOL) and video games help him unwind.

I don't see why gaming is singled out as an invalid and unconstructive hobby. Video games INSPIRE my oldest son. After playing a video game he writes games and songs and draws new characters he's created. He goes outside and he and his brother run around playing games he's made up.

I just don't get all the negativity around video games. If you spend an hour or two reading, you're taking time for yourself and doing something worthwhile. If you spend a couple hours playing a video game, you're a loser.

I'm not a gamer, but I do care about video game accomplishments of family members just because I know how difficult some of that stuff is.

"Talking to God" is as fun as a video game. LOL. I like that.
on Feb 24, 2007
I just don't get all the negativity around video games


That's because it sounds like your boys and husband use video games for fun and can put them aside.

My son day dreams about them in class, instead of listening.

He doesn't eat when he plays them, always says, "I'm not hungry."

There are some pretty good articles on the net about how a person can get addicted to the endorphins they get while playing....my son sweats, shakes, and really gets into it.

I would never say they are bad for everyone. Some kids are just more intense (read predisposed to addiction) and so they become life.

My idea of addiction is this....when it starts affecting my every day life, the real world, my health, my family, then there is a problem. My son's gaming did all the above.

on Feb 24, 2007
I don't see why gaming is singled out as an invalid and unconstructive hobby.


Because every generation has to have something to blame their kids problems on, and video games fill that niche for this one. Generally I think video games are far more constructive than past offenders, like comics and TV, because they're interactive and many of them require some thought. The twitch variety have been shown to develop reflexes and hand eye coordination, whereas strategic games (like GalCiv) definitely promote problem solving and strategic thinking. As "bad habits" go, they're not bad at all. Obviously one can have too much of anything, but there's no reason for video games to be singled out the way they so often are.
on Feb 24, 2007
No, they aren't. Anything can become an addiction when you have no self-control. Video games are not inherently anti-social; there are innumerable games that have multiplayer, and even if they don't, there are communities and fan-bases around singleplayer games. I play SSBM with guys on my floor all the time. I am in a clan for a ton of online FPS and MMOs. All of this requires social activity.

You have a problem. Turn off the computer, put away the consoles, and go out. Stop blaming it on video games.

on Feb 24, 2007
Texas,

You raise some good points. Indeed, reading is also addictive and anti-social, as shown by my wife right at this very moment. I could have written the whole thing on that instead.

The point is, anything done by yourself for fun is a waste. If you are accomplishing a second purpose with it, such as learning, then it's not. Fun should always be coupled with another purpose, because fulfilling other needs can be fun, such as cooking in a fun way, fun learning, fun with a group... etc. Anyone who plays the Sims knows this.

Actually, I do see your real point. The reason I did single out video games is because it's the problem that I have at the moment. So I talk about that. If I was having a problem with reading, I would've talked about that.
on Feb 24, 2007
playing video games is "me time"; it's relaxing and cathartic. i still maintain an active social life, i work out 3 times a week, i paint, write, read, and work a 40-hour job. i've barely had a chance to play DA since i got it, because i've chosen to spend time with my best friend, whose marriage recently fell apart two weeks before her father passed away.

playing a video game isn't "doing nothing" anymore than reading a good book. a game like GC2 also heightens your mental acumen vis-a-vis the need for strategic thinking. 'relaxing' is doing something, and i'd say it's something rather important to each individual.

i was trained as a social psychologist, and i firmly believe that using the idea of 'addition' to describe anything but substance abuse is fallacious. you don't have to spend every waking moment with your family and your god, but if you feel that playing video games is comprimsing your relationship to those things, i'd say one of two things is going on.

either your kidding yourself about how important those things are to you, or you're ambivalent (torn between two courses of action). i don't wish to call into question the importance of your family or your god, so i'll assume that this is ambivalence. it lacks integrity to say that you're "addicted" to video games; it places all the foucs on the game (gambling, sport, sex, or even many drugs), and it places no attention on your own agency.

if you feel some kind of guilt over playing video games at times, then i'd say what's going on here isn't some kind of half-baked additiction, it's that you're wrestling with the social stigma video games (and all non-athelectic games) still hold. you can either reject the stigma as nothing more than a lot of adolescent BS, or you can stop whining about the choices you make, or you can make different choices.

but my question is, why would you bring this up on a website dedicated to a video game and frequented by its fans? seems a little too preachy to me: unless you're looking for some kind of support, in which case i'd say you have nothing to worry about.
on Feb 24, 2007
That's exactly my point, Wolfstan.. you're playing SSBM with your friends (I assume that's Super Smash Bros Melee, which I absolutely love for the social aspect of timed games... no matter how bad you suck you get to keep playing 'til the end) which is great bonding time, which is needed for spreading the love of Christ. If that's the way you can reach the 'dorm' crowd, then I'm all for it, and I would do the same. I don't know much about clans though - I was always more of a solo gamer when playing MMOs. Except for trying to pick up women.

I believe I admitted that the problem was me. As in, 'my video game time is wasted time'. I didn't say yours was. And while the title of the article was designed to be eye-catching so you'd THINK I was blaming video games, I didn't (and if I did, I take it back - my fault). Video games are not worthy of blame. Neither are the people who make video games. And as I already said, I'm not going to turn off the computer or put the consoles away. I don't even play every day. But every second spent is a second that could be used for something else. I suppose it was more of a gaming/religious article, but they don't have a category that combines them both.
on Feb 24, 2007
The point is, anything done by yourself for fun is a waste.


I disagree with that WHOLEHEARTEDLY. My husband is in Iraq and I am raising three children by myself, staying involved with Cub Scouts, kids' school, La Leche League, FRG, PTSA, etc., and keeping the house from burning down.

If I don't do things by myself FOR myself sometimes I feel like a caregiving robot and I just want to run away and never come back.

Active, constructive people NEED that "me" time to be able to function.

The reason I did single out video games is because it's the problem that I have at the moment. So I talk about that. If I was having a problem with reading, I would've talked about that.


I'm not criticizing your topic choice. Video games just tend to get a bad rap, and it's annoying that so many people find video games to be a problem above all other possible hobbies.

on Feb 24, 2007
But every second spent is a second that could be used for something else.


I think you're beating yourself up unnecessarily. This is one of the reasons I'm no longer religious. GUILT. Religion makes you feel bad for doing even normal, healthy things. You're never good enough.

Good luck with that.
on Feb 24, 2007


Playing with the fairys or your imaginary friend is not productive either.

on Feb 24, 2007
I seem to have been posted on a site besides JoeUser... I think I knew it did that, but I seem to have forgotten when I choose Gaming as the category. Perhaps I should reclassify it to miscellaneous and get it away from the GalCiv site? GalCiv is, after all, one great reason to not give up gaming even if it's wasted time.

Anyway, I think the "stop whining" course of action might be best.
on Feb 24, 2007
I don't know that I feel guilty, but I know there are other things I could be doing. I just haven't found those things yet.

One can never be good enough at anything, though. One should always being improving oneself. Religion is only different in that people feel they should be perfect right away, and that it isn't a process. But it is a process. I know where I will be at the end, but I'm not there yet.
on Feb 24, 2007
Playing with the fairys or your imaginary friend is not productive either.

I don't know what that is supposed to mean.
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