Why the rush?  Why don't they live together for while first to see if it will work out?  It's not like this is her first marriage....or possibly failed relationship.  Why are they so rushed?

I lived with my husband for a couple years before we got married.  Probably would have lived like that for a long time but his parents and grandparents had their undies in a bunch over us "living in sin".  So, since we didn't see any reason that we would split up, we got married.  Decision went like this.  One night, I said to him: "Maybe we should get married one of these days".  He said: "yep".  So we did.

I would say no. But hey, if there are people out there willing to do backyard wrestling just for fun regardless of the painful end results, why not get married 3 times to the same guy, divorce him 3 times then marry an internet guy 3 months after you met him? So long as Hillary Clinton doesn't propose a $1 billion bill that would pay for the divorce expenses.

I think that's her next plan... that would DEFINITELY buy some votes.

I'm sure she'd only pay for the woman's half, though.

Mind your business.

Thank you for resurrecting this thread to post that stellar piece of wisdom. I am blown away by your insight.

As an update, they're having some problems. A little to do with each other, and a little more to do with the academic achievement (read: lack thereof) of his son. Since they met in the summer, it was not an issue at all, because he was on break. Well, great. I now appreciate the 'waiting a full year' point of view a lot better, because then this would've come up.

Also, nobody bothered to ask my mother-in-law's children if she would make a good Mom him, and that would have gotten at least one 'no.'

Grown children should not have a say in what the parents do with their love life (before is a more complicated issue). But should only exists in fairy tales and dreams, not in reality. The reality is they do have an impact, and they can help to make or break a new marriage as well.

Removing that lust aspect would certainly make for better genuine relationships. And I mean the ones that are solely lust-based. Nothing wrong with some good old fashioned lust between consenting adults, but too often the lust/love line gets confused.

So here's what I recommend. Throw down the shower curtains and break out the Wesson Oil and everyone have sex for about a year. Worldwide orgy until the lust bug is totally spent. Then see what happens when sexual repression has been removed from the equation.

Ok, it's partially a joke - but think about it psychologically a bit and see where it leads

Straight to HELL.   

  

Ock, all lust does is breed MORE lust. Now everytime you look at everyone you'll have a memory of sex with them. And then you'll want more. Especially that jazz musician there.   

No, children shouldn't have a say in the love life, but would you want to get a new Mom for your kids without finding out from her kids what kind of a Mom she is?

That is his decision and responsibility. And people do change (sometimes, not always). But then that goes to your original issue of waiting too. If they wait then that gives them both longer to find out how they are year round, and not just when the moon is full.

It's just funny to me, misfortune by choice always is, the number of issues that didn't come up in their courtship. I mean, even with a long courtship some stuff doesn't come up necessarily, but how many times do you need to be married to figure out that you should probably talk about certain things before you tie the knot?

Update:

Problems are coming up.  Duh.  It appears that this marriage might have been a little hasty, and now is a little over.

Oh well, not over yet, but man.  It sure sounds like its going that way.