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Raising a Modern Day Knight
Published on June 27, 2007 By Jythier In Home & Family
I recently read a book called Raising a Modern Day Knight. This book pretty much said that ceremony is a great way to mark the passage of boys to men, and throughout the long transition. For example, when a boy is hitting puberty, it is a natural right of passage. However, adding a meaningful ceremony, during which the passage to manhood is explained, and the expectations of being a man are laid out to him. An example ceremony was simply taking the son out to dinner, with the following definition of a man being given:
A real man accepts rejects passivity, accepts responsibility, leads courageously, and expects a greater reward(having to do with the eternal rewards, as it was a Christian book).

Another ceremony would mark the graduation from high school, the beginning of a career, and finally, the marriage to a woman, each getting more in depth and ceremonial than the last. More important, even. Including other men in your lives was also encourages, such as youth pastors, sports coaches, teachers, etc.

So, what do you think? Does marking the passage by ceremony help a kid become an adult, or is it just a silly thing to do?

I will delete any comments that think it's just a silly thing to do. (just kidding, LW!)

Comments
on Jun 27, 2007
Well not sure if it helps them become adults since they will become adults with or without the ceremony but I don't think it's a bad idea either. For a parent to show interest in their son in all that he does and accomplishes can only be a good thing. Everybody appreciates validation in what they do and to find a positive and encourage one in it can only be a good thing.

But I'm curious.....how do you know when exactly the time for the ceremony for puberty is to begin? I know in the Jewish Faith 13 is the year a boy becomes a man with the Bar Mitzvah ceremony so is that what is expected to be the beginning of puberty? Everyone has their own internal clock telling them when it's time. From my POV I'd say it's when all of a sudden Mom is not invited in the bathroom or anywhere near them when they are changing or bathing. One day it's ok...the next.....get out.

I've heard of this book and heard it was a good one, but it came along when my boys were almost grown.....all the good stuff came out after my kids hit their teens....like Bringing Up Boys by James Dobson. But we managed and my boys are doing well in spite of us not being well read....hahahah I guess we went only on instinct and common sense.
on Jun 28, 2007

Well not sure if it helps them become adults since they will become adults with or without the ceremony

Agreed.  But it does mean a lot to the Boy/man.  Rites are not going to make or break a man.  But it is an acknowledgement that more is expected, and more is gained.  ANd can have a lot of meaning to the person.

on Jun 28, 2007
How about, does it help boys become real men, as opposed to all those fake men we see running around these days.
on Jun 28, 2007

How about, does it help boys become real men, as opposed to all those fake men we see running around these days.

No.  It does not help nor hurt.  Becoming an adult is a personal decision that each must make.  Some make it earlier, some make it later and some never do.

on Jun 28, 2007
This is such a good idea. I think I will look into this book. I have two boys and want them to feel cherished but not smothered. I think a small ritual will be just the thing to remind us and them, they are no longer mama's babies.  
on Jun 28, 2007
One of the major stipulations of these ceremonies is that the mother is NOT involved. Men tell men they're men, not women. Sorry ladies. Despite trying to find that answer there for generations, that's not where it is. If you're a single Mom, try to get strong Christian men your kids respect involved, especially if they're a 'father figure'. Fathers are extremely important to boys, as I'm learning with mine. Moms are too, but who does my 19 month old follow around the house whenever I'm home?
on Jun 28, 2007
This is such a good idea. I think I will look into this book. I have two boys and want them to feel cherished but not smothered. I


I never smothered my boys but I'm told (by his brothers and girlfriend) that David is a Mama's Boy!! He's a strong man of God and for that I'm grateful...but we do have a great relationship and if that makes him a mama's boy....so be it. It goes way back to the time that I made more P&B sandwiches for him than I did for the other two...who's counting? I guess they were.

I'll make his favorite cookies anytime he wants....  

One of the major stipulations of these ceremonies is that the mother is NOT involved.


*sigh*...yes, I agree....and with the daughters....dad's are not invited. Dad's are so very important period. I don't think our culture "gets" it tho. Children are being raised more and more without Dads in the house...to our detriment. Girls need a strong daddy in the house just as much as the boys do.

who does my 19 month old follow around the house whenever I'm home?


hahahah that's cuz Daddy's are fun to play with...but who do they go to when they have a boo boo or later girl problems? Well that would be MOM!



on Jun 28, 2007
hahahah that's cuz Daddy's are fun to play with...


Hop on Pop! Just stay away from the nether regions!